Lost
by GirlAmerica1
Summary: Three years after the battle at Alkali Lake Logan is wandering... again. When a tragedy strikes the X men he is asked to come back and protect those he promised so many years ago that he would defend.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: This story is post X2. It will be a Logan/Rogue fic. There will be some OC's. I'll introduce them later!

Logan had been on the road for three years, just traveling the country on his bike. He couldn't stay at the mansion anymore. The deep internal need to wander got the better of him. Although he had promised to look after Marie he figured that she was safe enough under the protection of the professor. Things were just too complicated for Logan to stay in one place for any amount of time.

Since Jean's death Logan felt that he was being pulled in a million different directions. Was there something he could have done to save her? He felt terrible for pulling her away from Scott. Granted he thought the guy was a total prick but he didn't deserve what Logan did to him.

Logan got off the bike and threw the kickstand down. He silently chuckled at the ridiculous thoughts springing to mind.

_Get over it. It's over. Have some fun._

He pushed the voice to the back of his mind. The last thing he felt like doing now was having an internal argument with himself. He could barely remember what state he was in let alone what town. Actually, Logan couldn't even remember the last time he slept. He stood outside the building which was quite obviously a bar smoking a cigar. Logan remembered that he had passed a motel on the way into town. A few hours sleep would do him some good.

He stood the bike upright and was just about to swing his leg over when someone tapped him on the shoulder. Logan quickly spun around ready to fight. He was exhausted, in need of a drink, and extremely irritable. No one sneaks up on wolverine.

"Logan we need your help." Scott stood with his hands at his sides. There was a sense or urgency, but also something else… Fear. Was Scott afraid of him?

"What do you want?" Logan silently smelled the air. There was nothing to hint at danger.

"Your help. I can't explain here." Scott took a breath and gestured to a somewhat grisly looking man staring at the two of them from the window in the bar. "Can you come back to the mansion?"

Logan was about to refuse when Ororo stepped around the corner. She looked thoroughly stressed. Her posture was, as always, impeccable but her head was held low. "Please Logan"

He felt the slight tugging at his mind and knew that the Professor was nearby. "Fine. Can you get my bike, Scooter?"

"You mean my bike?"

"Sure. Whatever." Logan stalked off toward Ororo and followed her around the building toward a small clearing in front of the wood where the jet was parked. He snorted. "Heh. Subtle."

A while later the jet took off and Logan was in the middle of a detailed explanation as to why he had been plucked what would have probably been a very pleasant time at the bar.

"Logan, thank you for coming." Professor Xavier hadn't changed at all. His sense of urgency was still kept under control.

"Yeah." Logan was already annoyed.

"We've had a loss to our team and we need your help."

The words hit him like a truck. He immediately thought the worst. He wasn't there to protect her and now Marie was dead. He sputtered "What happened? When was it? Why was she involved? She's gone?" By now he was finding it difficult to breathe. It was his fault. Again. It was all his fault.

"It's not Rogue."

"What?" He stared blankly at the professor.

"Bobby Drake is dead. To be quite honest we don't know what happened, but we cannot be sure Rogue was not involved." The professor remained deadly calm. "She is changed since the accident happened and not in the way you would expect."

Logan exhaled a long drawn breath. At this point he wasn't even listening. Rogue wasn't dead. That was all he needed to know.

"She's become almost silent. She will not associate with anyone and somehow has managed to block me from her mind. There is something she doesn't want anyone to know. The problem is that we cannot be sure that she is not the one who killed Bobby."

Logan looked up at Xavier. "And you want me to do what?" He hadn't meant to snap but he honestly had no clue what to do.

"We need you to find out who killed him."

"Why me. Why not Scott?"

The Professor seemed unfazed by his reaction. "He is working on it. There are other pressing matters that need attending to as well."

"You have more than enough people to do this." Logan got up out of his seat and headed for the ramp.

"She needs you Logan."

Logan cursed under his breath. He turned around and stepped to Xavier. "Fine. But I'm not staying."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: Next chapter! Ok ok I know that Rogue doesn't say much, but the story will be picking up speed quickly. Enjoy!

Westchester hadn't changed at all. The grounds looked the same as when Logan left. The summer sun still beat down on the ridiculously green grass. The summer sun lured the children of Xavier's school out onto the field and into the pool. Sitting outside the main entrance were Jubilee and Kitty talking quietly. They each gave Logan a pleading look before getting up and walking around the side of the school. He looked around secretly hoping to see Rogue wandering the grounds with the rest of the school, but knew that she wouldn't be there.

How desperate were the Professor and Ororo to come to him for help? Was there no one else that could get through to Marie? He did want to help her. As much as he hated to admit it, if Marie had ever asked him for help he'd bend over backward for her. Part of him was furious with the Professor for even insinuating that she had something to do with Drake's death. Everyone who ever met Rogue would know that she didn't have a vindictive bone in her body. Well, until she had Magneto and himself in her head. There was no reason for her to kill Bobby. They were happy together the last time he saw them, hadn't they? Well it was three years ago. A lot can change in three years.

A lot did change since the last time he had seen her. When Logan entered the school he dropped his bag and went immediately to see Marie. He was hoping for the best. Ororo had tried to explain that Rogue wouldn't talk to anyone, but he assumed that she just meant conversing about the accident. When he got to her room, Marie wasn't speaking at all.

She sat alone in her room, with her knees tucked up to her chin. Her face was pale and she was far too thin. She wasn't the kid he left behind, but she still wasn't a woman. She appeared like a ghost to herself. It was like all the life had gone out of her, and she was now left the shell of the person she once was.

"Hey kid."

Marie slowly raised her head to look at him, but there was no response. Logan hoped for the slightest hint of a smile, some clue that she wanted to see him, but there was nothing. He had never seen her face so expressionless.

Logan sat down in front of her. A quick glance around the room proved what he originally thought. She hadn't eaten in days. "How you doing?" He realized how stupid that question sounded right after he asked. "Do you want to talk to me?"

Marie's only response was to turn and lean her head against the wall. She closed her eyes and let her hair fall across her face. She bore almost no resemblance to the girl he left three years ago. Logan was immediately overcome with guilt. If he hadn't left would any of this have happened? He had always promised to protect her and he failed. She was the only person left who really cared about him. At least he thought so.

"I'll tell you what kid. If you need me, you know how to find me." She knew where he lived when he was at Westchester. The grounds were not that big and his room wasn't far away.

Logan stood up and walked slowly to the door. He was inwardly hoping for any sign she had understood him. Just one response… He reached for the doorknob and there it was. Ever so softly he heard her speak. "Bye Logan."

Logan turned to look at her, but she hadn't moved. "Bye Marie"

Storm was standing outside the door and immediately bombarded Logan with questions.

"Did you find anything out?"

"No." Logan reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a cigar, which he proceeded to light.

"How did she look?"

"Like shit. You should know. You've seen her."

Ororo moved in front of him to meet his gaze. "Look, Logan, she's clearly been through a lot and I'm just trying to find out what happened. It's very likely that she had something to do with Bobby's death. We need to know everything."

"Look, Storm." He paused. Clearly, he was very annoyed that she would even hint that Rogue. He took a long drag at his cigar and Ororo wondered how he didn't choke. "She would never have purposely done anything to that boy. I don't know what's going on. I don't even know how I can help." Logan conveniently left out that he was internally ripping himself to shreds for leaving Marie.

"Can you just continue to talk to her?" She was grasping at straws and was practically pleading with him.

"I'm no shrink. And I-"

"But I am." Logan quickly turned to hear who cut him off. Walking down the hall was a tall, and he carefully noted, attractive blonde.

"I'm Dr. Lauren." She held out her hand and he shook it. She tried not to wince at his grip.

He arched his eyebrow. "Lauren?" He internally kicked himself. 'You ass you're flirting' _Go with it bub. _

"Actually, my last name is Lauren. My first name is Melanie. I'm um the resident counselor at Xavier's school now."

"Ok. I'm-"

"Logan. I know. I asked for Charles to find you when we weren't making progress with Rogue after a few weeks."

"A few weeks? How long has she been like this?" Logan made the transformation from flirty to furious in what seemed like a fraction of a second.

"Well the accident happened a month ago, and she was speaking at first but she quickly fell into the state you just saw her in." Dr. Lauren was quickly becoming uncomfortable with Logan's attitude.

"Yeah whatever. Anyone going to tell me what happened that day Drake died or am I going to have to guess?" Another drag on the cigar. Beer. He needed beer.

The two women walked with him toward the media room. Storm spoke quietly as if she was afraid of all the students overhearing. Logan wondered how many people were affected by what happened. "We don't even know what happened that night. We all woke up to Rogue screaming 'He's dead.' She wouldn't stop screaming and crying. All we could get out of her was 'He's dead and it's all my fault.' Those were the last words she has spoken to anyone."

"Until today." Storm and Melanie just stared at him.

"What do you mean until today? She spoke to you?"

Logan suddenly became bored with the conversation. He needed a drink and he couldn't remember the last time he slept. "Can we talk about this later? Yeah, thanks." He walked out of the room.

After stopping to pick up his bag he went up to his old room. It hadn't changed since he left. He dropped his things and went to collapse on top of his bed. It wasn't until then that he noticed a figure sleeping face down on his comforter. A strangely familiar figure with chestnut and silver hair…


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: Sorry this took forever to get out.

Logan wondered if he should wake her up. He had way too many questions to ask and didn't have the slightest idea of how to begin asking them. He just stood at the foot of his bed staring when she began to stir.

"Logan?" She sat up and rubbed her eyes. For just a second Marie resembled the girl she was so many years before.

"Hey, kid." Logan stood absolutely still. She smelled of fear and the salt of tears was beginning to permeate the air.

Slowly, Marie began shaking in silent sobs. "I'm so sorry, Logan. I'm so so sorry. I didn't mean for it to happen. I don't-" Tears were pouring down her face, and her entire body rocked and spasmed. Breathing became increasingly difficult for her and Logan wondered if she would pass out. She was a hysterical mess. What could have possibly happened to warrant this. He rushed forward to reach out to her. "NO! Don't touch me! Don't-"

"Marie-" Suddenly she quieted. Something, he didn't know what it was, but something in those two syllables had the effect of calming her. Sighing, he figured he'd try it again. "Marie, please talk to me." Sitting up, she took in a deep breath and wiped her nose on the long sleeved night shirt she was wearing.

Logan cautiously sat down next to her on the bed. Marie was absolutely silent and for a minute only the sound of breathing filled the room. He reached out to take her gloved hand, but she pulled away again. "I'm sorry." Her voice was soft. "How have you been, Logan?"

He raised an eyebrow. That was potentially the last thing he expected to happen. "I've been uh, good. Traveled a lot. Seen a lot of the states." He looked up at her and saw a small smile. "I was traveling across the country. Got to see a lot of cool stuff. Got to have barbecue in Texas. Oh and I went past the Grand Canyon. Didn't find any leads on my past but it was a neat trip."

"I'm sorry they made you come back for me"

"Kid, it was time to come home anyway. You know… I kind of missed you." He let out a small chuckle. "Did you miss me?"

"Not really." She smirked, and glanced up at him from under lowered eyes.

"Nah, didn't think so. Well I guess I can just go then." He pretended to get up from the bed and she stopped him with a gloved hand on his wrist.

"No." Realizing she had just touched him, she took her hand back. "I missed ya, Logan. I really did. I miss the team too."

"The team, huh?"

She nodded. "A lot. I'm sick of being so screwed up."

"I know, kid, but you're not screwed up." He watched as she yawned again and realized how late it was. "It's time for you to get back to your room, and for me to get some sleep." Logan held his hand out to help her off the bed, but she refused it and got up on her own.

"Okay. See ya later, Logan." She made her way to the door.

"Does this mean you'll be leaving your room now?'

She didn't answer. She just opened the door and left.

Logan didn't bother pulling back the comforter on his bed. He collapsed on top of it and immediately fell into a deep sleep.

Marie woke the next morning to knocking on her door. This wasn't new. Almost all the teachers at the school attempted at least a few times a day to talk to her. Finally the doorknob turned and Logan popped his head in.

"Brought you lunch. You slept past breakfast." He set down a tray which looked like it held every single item from the lunch room.

"Think you brought enough?" She stood up and took a sip of juice from one of the glasses. She looked at the rest of the food on the tray and immediately felt the bile rising in her throat.

"Probably not. You look like you need a hell of a lot more than that."

Marie looked down at herself. She was practically covered head to toe in baggy sweat suit. She hated to admit it, but it did seem baggier than usual. "Whatever. So what do you want?"

"I want to talk with you." He put his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

"What about?"

"About what happened that night. I've talked with Dr. Lauren and she said that-"

"Dr. Lauren doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about. Neither does Storm, and neither does Scott." Her voice was harsh and biting. There was a deathly calm about her, which had the unfortunate effect of annoying Logan.

"Well I think she does, and I'm willing to listen to her." He clenched and unclenched his fist, trying to control his temper.

"Really, Logan?" Marie took a step toward him. "Do you really think she knows what she's talking about or have you just found yet another doctor at the school to go crazy about?"

Logan exhaled a long held breath. "You're being ridiculous, Marie. Just stop it and come outside with me. It'll do you good."

"I don't need 'good' Logan. I need to be left the fuck alone!" She was trembling now. "Get out! Get out, Logan and leave me alone!"

Logan turned on his heel and slammed her bedroom door shut, knocking her mirror off the wall. Marie ran to the door and just stood there. She wanted to talk to someone. She wanted to talk to Logan more than anyone else. She should just open the door and call after him. Open the door Marie. She rested her forehead against it and cried.

Marie was tired of crying. She cried almost constantly since that night with Bobby. All it seemed she did was cry and she was sick of it. The only thing she was sick of more than crying was fear. She was so afraid of hurting everyone around her. Drawing a deep breath she locked the door and went back to her bed.

Logan stormed through the halls and straight into the Professor's office. He didn't knock and he certainly didn't care that he was in a meeting with Mel Lauren. "What the hell happened that night?"

"Logan. It's good to see you." The Professor wheeled out from behind his desk and stopped in front of Logan.

"Yeah. Got that. What the hell am I dealing with here? One day she's talking to me and even smiling a little bit and the next thing I know Rogue's screaming at me and acting possessed. The only thing we're missing is the head spinning and vomiting. What the hell is wrong with her?"

"Nothing is wrong with her, Logan." Melanie stood and looked him right in the eye. "Well, not physically."

"What do you mean?"

"What she means, Logan, is that Rogue is suffering mentally from whatever happened that night." Charles' calming tone had no affect on Logan's current mood. "She has blocked the situation so well that I cannot even communicate with her telepathically."

"We've tried everything, Logan. You're it." Melanie's beautiful face was deadly serious.

"What do you want me to do?" Logan sat in one of the comfy office chairs. The task seemed impossible. Suddenly everything seemed so impossible and entirely his fault. If he had never left this would have never happened to Marie.

"Anything."

Suddenly, everything seemed perfectly clear. "Anything?"

"What are you going to do, Logan?" Melanie seemed skeptical.

"I'm done talking to her."

Logan stormed back through the halls, pushing past Scott.

"Logan! What are you doing?"

"Out of my way One Eye." By now Melanie, Scott, and quite a few students were watching as Logan approached Marie's room.

Logan paused only briefly at Marie's door. He did try the handle twice, banged on it once, and then finally kicked the door in. Rogue screamed and jumped off of her bed and scrambled to the far side of her room.

"What the hell are ya doin?"

"You miss the team?" Logan practically roared. "Well we're doing something about it."

"We're what? Marie's voice cut off and fumbling was heard.

Scott cringed when he imagined the destruction in the room. It was about thirty seconds later when Logan emerged from the room with Marie kicking and screaming over his right shoulder and a pair of her old sneakers in his left hand.

Marie's struggle continued as her captor stomped through the mansion. The journey took them out the back door, across a barbecue pit, and down a small hill. Logan didn't stop until he reached Xavier's Olympic sized swimming pool. Being sure to reach the deep end, he unceremoniously dumped the screaming girl into the cool blue water.

When Marie rose to the top of the water and sucked in a breath, her rage was obvious. "What the hell was that for?"

"That," Logan snapped, "was for acting like you're the only person in this place. You think you're the only one who misses Bobby? You think you're the only one who misses anyone? I blame myself every day for what happened to Jean. Could I have done something to save her? I don't know. I don't know what happened that night with you and Bobby and I probably never will. But I do know that you would never do anything to hurt him. I'm sorry you're hurting, but we all hurt. You just have to pick yourself up and keep going. If you don't, you lose. That's the way it is. So stop acting like a selfish brat and stop feeling sorry for yourself, because we all have things we have to get past. You're not alone. Not even close."

Marie didn't do anything. She didn't sputter, didn't speak. She simply stared at him with wide eyes.

"Come on, Marie. Get out. We've got a long day ahead of us." He held a hand down to her to help pull her out of the water. He was slightly surprised that she took it.

"Where are we going?" The water was pooling off her clothes onto the cement.

"We are going for a workout."

Marie nodded and started to walk back to the mansion. Logan smirked and watched her walk a few steps. "Where are you going?"

Marie turned back. Her hair was sopping and falling around her face. "Back to the mansion? To change? To the danger room?"

Logan actually laughed. "No we're not darlin'. Put these on. We're going for a run." He threw her sneakers at her feet.

Marie just stared at them. "You've got to be fucking kidding me."

"Not a chance. You miss the team? This is the only way back."

Marie bent and started to put her shoes on. Thankfully she stuffed socks into them before she dropped them in her room. "My clothes are sopping."

Logan stripped off his white T-shirt and threw it to her. "You can wear that. I'm not giving you my pants, so you'll have to deal with yours. You got thirty seconds or you're going for another dip."

"Sadist."

"Maybe, but you ain't seen nothing yet, darlin'. Your day ends when you start talking." He turned back around and found Marie glaring at him. "We'll start with the trails in the woods. Let's go."


End file.
